perang dingin

perang dingin? yess...perang dingin...aku dah naik malas dah..malas jadik penunggu tak bergaji...buat perabih duit lagi ada...selfish ke apa? maybe kot..hampir semua orang cakap camtu dekat aku bila aku citer apa yg jadik...ntah la...just aku sedih...sbb terlampau sedih ler kot aku bertindak mcm ni...dah la..malas nak citer lebih2...

but 1 thing yg aku sure...now aku dah ada 1 benda yg aku nak buat....utk kebaikan diri aku sendiri jugak 'benda' ni...utk masa depan aku jugak.....at least 'benda' ni leh meng"divert"kan diri aku dari memikirkan benda2 lain yg akhirnya membuatkan aku sedih balik...better ler kan..just bagi aku 3 bulan aje..dlm 3 bulan ni akan nampak perubahannya...now aku tgh psycho diri aku sendiri..yakin boleh..bak kata orang...di mana ada kemahuan, di situ ada jalan...

insyaallah...

bercinta lagi

Tgh depressed lagi..gerodek personal folder aku, terjumpa email2 dari hubby..pada suatu masa and ketika dahulu....

----------------------------------------------------------------
Puisi Buat Isteriku

Tanpamu di sisi
Pekat malam berlalu pergi
meninggalkan aku terlantar sepi
terasa alam ini tak berpenghuni tanpamu di sisi..

Baru tadi aku berbicara
sekadar pengubat rindu membara
tapi rindu itu datang lagi
biarpun sesaat cuma tanpamu di sisi..

Malam ini aku sunyi lagi
meredah tiap detik saat waktu
menghitung hari-hari mendatang tak sabar rinduku menanti
sampai kita ketemu lagi!

suami
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Kasih (buat isteriku yg. tercinta)

Jauh sudah bahtera cinta
melintasi badai ombak hidup
dugaan hadir hinggap sejenak
menguji kuat kasih bertapak
utuh menggengam lipatan cinta
kasih mampam menangkis duka

--------------------------------------------------------------

Song from my heart

You know you're everything to me..
and I could never see..
the two of us tear apart..
and you know I give myself to you..
and no matter what you do..
i promised you my heart..
i live my world around you..and i want u to know i need u like i've never needed anyone before..

I live my life for you..
i wanna be by your side
in everything that u do..
one..you're like a dream come true
two..just wanna be with u..
three..you're the only one for me
four..repeat step 123
five..???
just call me angel..on the morning angel..just touch my cheek before you leave..baby ...thank you..for loving me..

when i need you..
just close my eyes and i'm with you..
oh my love my darling i've hunger for your touch are u still mine........???????
i need your love...

wise man say
only fools rush in
but i can't help
falling in love with you..
i dont know but i believed
there's something are meant to be
and it wanna make a better me
everyday i love you..

mad about you,
az**

-----------------------------------------------------------

When We're Not Together
By Andrew Tawney

When we're not together
my thoughts drift alongside
memories of you;
things we've done
the way you smile so brightly
that helps me forget my worries
and celebrate our wonders.

When we're not together ...
my moods come into play more often
and make me yearn for the strength
I feel in you ...
the security I find in your eyes

When we're not together ...
I sometimes feel so very alone,
for myself and you ...
imagining you being without
my loving feelings
as I am without yours.

When we're not together ...
my best wishes still go with you always, wishing to share in your excitements wanting to comfort your hurts needing to be reassured that you're keeping warm and well

When we're not together ... I seem to
spend my time
wishing that we were
---------------------------------------------------------

Now???..ntah la.....aku dah mula emotional pulak...iskh...ikshhhh....

bercinta

semalam aku balik awai...laki aku balik dgn bos dia..so bila sampai rumah awai, sempat la aku melayan novel cintan cintun (love story mory) sampai habis...a day earlier pun aku dah baca satu..semalam aku baca lagi 1 buku...beli dekat borders..yg 3 for the price of 2...lepas habis baca aku depressed..

dok fikir2....dah lama aku x bercinta dgn laki aku...now dia asyik keja..keja..n keja..eventhough kami duduk berasingan dgn anak2 but then, xde satu masa yg kami betoi2 spend berdua (quality time together)...n masa cuti or weekend, definately tumpuan akan pergi dekat anak2...now aku selalu jln sorang2 masa weekdays...pi window shopping sorang2..pi tgk wayang sorang2...beli groceries sorang2...ntah la..

semalam masa laki aku balik keja..aku tny dia...bila kita nak bercinta?.....ntah laaaa..aku pun xtau apa yg dah jadik dekat aku now...ini yg susah bila anak2 xde sekali..at least kalo aku banyak masa terluang, boleh ler aku gunakan utk anak2..so xde le masa utk aku fikirkan benda2 yg mengarut ni

masa pagi tadi nak dtg keja..time nak tutup pintu rumah...aku tgk aje dekat dia dgn pandangan yg kosong.. masa dlm keta...

hubby: why u tgk i camtu?
aku: mcm mana?
hubby: mcm tu la
aku: mcm tu mcm mana?
hubby: mcm u dah x sayang i lagi...

x sayang? bukannya aku x sayang..just now aku rasa semua benda mcm rutin aje..dah le keja kat opis pun mcm apa aje... aku dah hilang semangat nak keja gara2 boss bertuah 'sekor' tu.......now aku rasa sunyi aje..

actually b4 this, laki aku dah bgtau dekat aku..dia risau bila dia busy dekat opis..balik lewat everyday...aku akan rasa sunyi n dia takut aku akan carik "spare tyre" dekat luar...dia kata mana la tahu masa aku dok round di QB, ada lelaki yg selalu dok perhati aku..kacau aku..n aku lak sbb sunyi, layan lelaki tu...adoi laaa..aku bgtau dia, selagi aku dok merengek n bising bila dia bgtau dia kena balik lewat..then dia xyah risau..but once aku xkisah bila dia balik lewat or dok encourage dia balik lewat or buat OT, then masa tu dia kena start risau...

now aku rasa aku jadik camni sbb baca novel2 cinta tu.nampak gaya lepas ni aku nak kena carik buku2 yg lain lak..xleh beli buku cintan cintun ni..kena carik yg real stories ke..motivational ke..bahaya la..